Know Yourself First: The First Step to Being Authentic
To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.
Eckhart Tolle
Last week, you started to expand your knowledge of yourself. If you have not read last week post, here it is: 10 Powerful Questions to Live Authentically. Who you are—your identity—is a powerful force in your life and speaks volumes to others who come into contact with you. Your personal identity includes more than just your thoughts and feelings. Today, we look at some other things that help make up your personal identity.
Your identity plays an important role in your decisions and relationships.
Thinking about who you are will strengthen the connections among your mind, body, and behaviors. Also, you can get a better handle of where you are in life as well as where you’re headed.
Although there are plenty of psychological theories out there about identity, including its formation and how you maintain it, consider these basic elements of your identity:
Your personal family history.
Where you were raised, who you grew up with, and the experiences you had as you matured from an infant all the way through your early adult years are powerful factors affecting the development of your personal identity.
Consider sayings like, “You can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the girl” and their implications. In essence, where you’ve come from plays a major role in who you are.
That being said, your history doesn’t have to be the end of the story when it comes to your present identity. An encouraging thing about life is that you can take steps to be the person you want to be at any time.
ACTION ITEM: List 3 “past identity beliefs” of yourself you want to let go and 3 “present identity beliefs” to replace them.
The “group” of people you hang out with.
Much of who you are today can be attributed to the people you most closely affiliate with. Your friends probably share interests in the same kinds of things you find fascinating.
Think about it—perhaps several of your friends play golf and so do you. You’re into fitness and a bit of a health nut as are a few of your best buddies. Even though you may associate the idea of “cliques” with your teen years, it’s still true that we gravitate towards people who share similarities to ourselves.
As with the first point, you can be selective about the people you choose to hang out with. If you want to be studious, you can look for others who spend time in libraries and taking classes. If you want to be successful, choose to hang out with people you view as good at their work and successful in life.
ACTION ITEM: List 3 friends that you hang out with the most. How do these friends affect your identity? Positive? Negative? Are they helping you move forward to the version of yourself you want to create?
Your physical appearance
The clothes you choose to wear, the hairstyle you have, and how you conduct yourself physically combine to make up an important aspect of your personal identity. Although your appearance isn’t the only thing that’s relevant about who you are, the fact is that your physical state provides people with a picture of who you are.
ACTION ITEM: Declutter your closet from clothing that do not represent the person you want to become. Donate them! This little action will make space for NEW things to come to you.
Your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs about you
Your self-image is made up of how you feel about yourself as an individual. Also, what you believe to be true about yourself is a powerful force in determining your personal identity.
For example, if you believe you’re an overweight, unattractive person, then you might unconsciously portray those characteristics toward others. But if you see yourself as someone who’s working hard to excel in her career and willing to give something to get something, you present a more positive identity to others.
What you feel, think, and believe about yourself are major aspects of your overall identity.
ACTION ITEM: List 3 limiting beliefs you have learned about yourself. Who/Where or when was the first time you heard that belief? How did that moment made you feel? What do you really needed at that moment? Replace that negative belief with a positive one. Repeat it, meditate on it. This will help your brain re-wire this belief with a new one.
The exercise above is part of doing shadow work. If you want to learn more about working with your shadow, make sure to read my article: Using Shadow Work to Live in Alignment where you can deep dive about this incredible inner-work.
Make it a point to ponder who you are as an individual human being on this earth.
Recognize that your personal identity is a complex mix of your history, your affiliations, and your thoughts and beliefs about yourself. How you appear to others is also representative of your identity.
Realize that you have considerable power to influence the type of identity you possess and show to others. As you develop your authenticity, stay true to who you really are. However, you can still learn to let go of the negative influences of the past that inhibit you today. Peeling those layers off, will reveal to the world the authentic and magnificent being you came to be.
XO, M 💋
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